Dealing with the Disabled for Dummies

Now for the most part I try and be pretty easy going and even tempered. It’s pretty unusual for me to get really mad. I’m talking steam coming out of the ears, cussing like a drunken sailor mad.

However one of the few things that will get me from 0 to seething pissed off in a heartbeat is being talked to like I’m some drooling moron. You know that condescending tone people will use when they talk to an 8 year old that’s having a temper tantrum or when speaking to someone who they perceive as mentally incompetent. You know the tone of voice where they talk slower, a bit louder, a slight lilt in their voice and they parse their words very precisely. Almost like they’re talking to someone with whom English is their second language. Now I’m not saying I’m the most articulate person out here because at times I can sound like a babbling idiot, but English is my first language. I failed French is high school and took a year of Spanish in College which I remember enough of not to butcher a menu at a Mexican restaurant.




It doesn’t always set me into pissed off mode.  When older folks who might not have had much exposure to someone with an obvious disability like mine I don't hold it against them, but I do try and educate them.   Because of my disability I’m 3’3” and in an electric wheelchair which in a perfect world is no excuse. But it’s only been in the last 30 or so years that people with severe disabilities have been out in the world trying to live life as normal as technology and accessibility will allow. People from my parents generation (i.e. people born in the 1940 and 1950’s) and earlier just didn’t have the exposure to people with physical disabilities. Plus if someone has never had interactions with someone who is physically disabled that can contribute to it as well.

It wasn’t until 1975, 11 years AFTER the civil rights act of 1964, that children with disabilities were granted the right to a public education under the EAHC Act which was later amended to be the IDEA Act. In addition to that, is the fact that it wasn’t until 1990 and the signing of the Americans with Disabilities Act that things that we take for granted today like curb cuts, ramps, wider doorways and many other things that make a public life for the disabled possible were written into Federal Law. It’s understandable why many people of the older generations don’t have much experience with people with disabilities.

I’ve thought about why people when they are confronted with someone with an obvious disability revert to that condescending tone and manner. Is it nervousness at the unknown? Are people assuming that a physical disability must also include a cognitive disability?

Please keep in mind that no two people with the same physical disability have the same level of disability, and the majority of people with a physical disability have no loss of cognitive function. As a rule of thumb treat us like you would any other person. For some people with physical disabilities it can be harder when dealing with the non-disabled because they have some form of speech impediment or trouble speaking.

One of my best friends and college roommate freshman year has a fairly severe form of Cerebral Palsy which includes a severe speech impediment.. He is one of the most articulate writers I know and holds a B.A. in Public Relations writing, is a published writer and works for a disability rights advocacy organization, but I know for a fact that with all his intelligence he has had this kind of thing happen to him all too often because of his speech impediment.

The bottom line is to treat the disabled as you would anyone else. We have the same desires and dreams, the same goals. Live life to the best of our abilities, have a good job, a nice place to live, good friends and someone special in our lives.